Monday, August 28, 2006
Title: Disillusion
It seems to me that people are ignorant to certain things.. Its clear that you have to do something to avoid it but we do not care and we just dwell into it and regret our actions.. I'm a person that advocates trying to know what's best for you than to regret it when the time is here.. Recently, i guess its best not to try at all than to hurt all parties involved.. I have this statement - to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure but the biggest failure is not risking at all.. Based on this, i believed that it is better to try than holding back and ponder what might happen..
This may sound ironic but i have no choice but to take a step back and bide my time in thinking what's the best outcome for all.. Definitely i will try but with caution and with the best of my knowledge that all will turn out to be ok and cool about it.. In this manner, i am using both theories to the best of my ability.. I'm risking it but i know i will not regret for trying and i know it will turn out fine rather than affecting all parties involved.. I guess human beings are rational to be able to decide what's for the better..
Sometimes the truth hurts but it is good to know it rather than dragging it and by the time u know it, it will even be more hurting.. Anyway, in life we should always be prepared to be hurt and learn from it, we can't be living in a world where everything is beautiful and nobody is hurt.. This will never happen so learn from it and pick yourself up because there are many more beautiful things to do..
I think i should stop now because i'm blogging due to the events happening around me.. It's affecting the way how i normally blog so it's a biased entry..
*sighz*
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Friday, August 25, 2006
Title: Tired!!
I'm still in school to post this entry.. Tomorrow's my hall's DnD and we have done up a lot of costumes just for this ocassion in line with this year's theme Magical Night!! We are doing Peter Pan this year and i'm the Crocodile which i didnt know it existed in the cartoon.. We got do plan the characters buy the materials for it and to do painting also.. It was tough and i hope it will turn out to be good tomorrow.. I will post another on the DnD and some pictures also.. *hee*
I'm beginning to feel more at ease at settling in this new environment.. It was difficult at the start and i was thinking too much at that time, now its more or less settled and i'm beginning to find a way through for myself. Definitely i'm also thinking about other stuff.. I'm at a crossroad right now, I do not know which way should I be heading to.. Certain indications are leading me to this particular way but i'm afraid i may want to turn back and it could mean that i have to make sacrifices and it may not be just me alone..
I do not wish to think about it also, I think i should just take my time in deciding what i should do and not rush over it.. On the other hand, I do not wish to drag it further and further and its a stalemate.. This shall not be the outcome at all..
I'm beginning to run of ideas to do my blogging.. Maybe i should just close this down.. *I dunno*
*sighz*
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Friday, August 18, 2006
Title: Alone
I'm stayin back tonight in hall because i have a game tomorrow morning but my roomie has just gone back to enjoy his mum's delicious cooking.. *sighz* I'm alone tonight again.. my friends are going back tonight because there's no point for them to be staying back.. I will be probably doing the same thing if i do not have that game tomorrow.. Anyway i'm planning to have an early night because i slept at 4am last night after a game of mahjong..
I think i have found the solutions to the strange feelings i had in my earlier posts.. Actually its not so difficult at all.. Sometimes you just need time to be sure of what's going on.. They always say that 'Time will heal all wounds', i am neutral about this statement because i've been through it and i know how it feels.. Its a struggle within yourself because you do not wish that you can forget everything but at the same time, you are dying to get rid of it.. Its ironic but it happens.. I know the answer to the question i've been asking myself but i do not think its possible to forget everything with just a blink of the eye.. It takes time but i guess i'm stronger now so it be easily forgotten before i know it.. Actually the duration is determined by myself and only i can decide when to stop and when to continue but i refused to take charge of it.. Am i running away from it?? I guess i am but i can't help it..
Human beings are sensitive to changes and drastic measures.. They complain and make headlines out of it.. What do they gain from it?? Emotional sense of achievement, because they are stating a claim which could affect many others.. Thus, i'm sensitive to my surroundings and the people around me.. Its not difficult to know a person but to understand the characteristics and knowing how to communicate with one another is different.. People tell lies but the actions do not.. 'A picture tells a thousand words' this has been a clique commonly used by many.. You do not need to say anything, just an action from you and i will know what you actually meant.. Great speakers uses graphics and actions to relate their points across the audience.. This has been a hallmark for them.. Its the same when its being applied in my context..
Looking at the surroundings and the people around me, i'm sensitive enough to be told from their actions that this is actually what they meant.. Definitely i will not be going around stating a claim and making a nuisance out of myself.. I'm still trying to learn about their characteristics in order to have a positive and effective communication..
I'm beginning to run out of ideas to blog my this entry.. In a nutshell, its easy to see and observe what's going around but it may be wrong to speculate.. As much as i hate to accept it, this is the reality so that leaves me with no choice..
*sighz*
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Title: New laptop
For the first in NTU, i'm using my own laptop to blog.. This should be my maiden entry.. *hehe* The process of getting this laptop is rather complicated, by right i will not have it only until end of next month and yes i'm not kidding.. Thankfully, due to my intelligence and some luck plus some administrative hic-cups, i got it at least, TODAY!!
Its feel great to be using my own laptop then to leech to someone else's.. Anyway i'm going to stop now because i just remembered i've got an article to read up and next week is my presentation.. *sighz* I will be back tomorrow to blog down some interesting notes..
*sighz*
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Saturday, August 12, 2006
Title: Strange feelings
Sometimes people just wonder why things turn out to be this manner.. But actually there's always a reason for everything as in that's what I always believed in.. This was made known to me way back when i was in my JC days, that for everything there's a reason to it.. Recently, i am beginning to have second thoughts to that quotation from that someone.. Its been 2 weeks since i started school as in FOC and 1st week of proper studying.. I'm slowly gelling into it but as usual when you are slowly getting into something, things may not turn out the way you want it to be.. That's the irony of human beings, i have this previous entry talking about preventing the what IFs, but actually we are doing the exact opposite of it.. This can applied to the current situation, everybody is hoping for a perfect setting or ending but we know that there isn't something on this planet that's perfect.. but i would say that to aim for it is already an achievement..
Something changes for the sake of changing or is it because the society deem it to be changed?? There's always a reason to the changes of the current situation but more than often, we overlook it and just take it for granted.. But when it really sinks into our minds then slowly we realise that things do not change just because the society changes or its time to have a new look but its for other reasons.. As i was saying, after 2 weeks in school things are not turning out the way i want it and it changes just like that.. I thought i have an answer for that but apparantly i do not have.. thats why i am beginning to question the statement - there's a reason for everything that changes..
Actually i was thinking there is an answer but i have not found it or its not meant to be found.. Why do i say so?? Its still early so i may be wrong to determine there isn't a solution to it.. I may be a little too impatient about this.. As for it may not meant to be found, i guess if there's really a reason to the change and it is delibrately hidden away, it must be done in this manner for a reason and its good not to know it because sometimes the truth always hurt..
As for now, i am confused to why things turn out like this in just 2 weeks.. The rest i cant be bothered to waste my brain cells pondering..
*sighz*
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Title: School's here
The day i have been waiting for is here finally.. How ironic it will be come 2, 3 months down the road.. *keke* I am back to my books again since nov 2003.. The feeling is nothing actually.. I missed my 1st lecture because i overslept.. *haha* I woke up at 0730 and my lesson was 0830 so i thought i'm still early, went back to my dreams and the very next moment it was 0830.. *sianz* no point getting up wash up and rush to the other end of NTU in 15mins?? Not possible at all.. I decided to skip the lecture and sms my friend that i will be there for the next one at the same venue.. Thankfully, this time round i did make it in time and i still can grab a cup of coffee to go along with..
I'm back at home, blogging because i miss my com and my mum.. *hehe* I think once i've gotten my laptop, i won't miss my com that much.. *haha* I just want to come back spend some time back home since my sister is away so i think i better spend more time with my parents.. *this is true* Since i have time to spare because i've got no lessons tomorrow, might as well make my way home even though its a long journey..
Its the effort that matters, i'm just hoping that i can keep it this way instead of doing it for 1st 3 months and i won't be coming back for weeks..
*nothing much to blog about*
*sighz*
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Sunday, August 06, 2006
Title: School's starting
Hi peeps.. I'm back to do some updates.. As if got people care about me.. *haha* School starting tomorrow and i have moved in to my new room at Hall 3.. The room is spacious just like condo.. *haha* I was away for a week because of my Orientation camp and it was fun!! Beach games, wargames, water games, monster hunt, team fortress, ice breaker, amazing race and SP nite.. 6 days of running, cheering and stoning.. woo.. After 2.5 years from all the fun and laughter, everything's back.. But before i could pause for a moment, sch's starting tomorrow.. so sianz!!
My aunt drove me here today together with my mum because she wants to see how my room looks like and she has never been to NTU before.. *haha* I bring in my clothes, toiletries, food, stationary and many more.. Its like moving house but to a lesser extent.. *haha*
I shall briefly touch on the games i played - Ice-breaker games, as usual when you join a camp, you do not know a single soul so through playing games, its supposed to bridge the gap and establish good camaderie.. Its also a way to kill time when we've got nothing to do.. *haha* especially before/after meals..
Beach games - This was the finale to the FOC.. It was held at Aloha Loyang, Pasir Ris beach.. We were supposed to rescue our OGLs from the sea and doing some other stuff like filling up the bottle with seawater w/o any containers or whatsoever..
Wargames - Mud, flour and more mud.. Thats the main ingredient for this.. If you are not covered with mud/flour by the end of the 1st game, there's very wrong about you.. We played this game whereby its supposed to test your reactions to the colours of the flags attached to your limbs.. Interesting.. The final part to it, a obstacle course with constant bombardment of water bombs filled with mud!! less the impurities..
Water games - The name says it all, we are supposed to be wet and its played in the pool.. We had a battle for survival style of counterstrike.. The best part is the syncrohnising of our body movements in water.. *haha* Every group is supposed to come up with a dance movement in the water with syncronized movement.. *interesting*
Amazing race - We ran from NTU - Snow City - Beach road - Kallang Basin - SUNTEC City - Aloha Loyang.. *woo* I'm proud to say that my group is the overall winners for this game.. Kudos to everyone who ran and ran.. *haha*
SP nite - my secret partner (SP) is someone whom i know of because of the game, team fortress.. Its supposed to be a chance for you to get to know someone else from other OGs and preferably someone whom you have been eyeing all these days.. Alas, it was not meant to be.. *keke* i enjoyed the night though playing till 4am before i finally lie down and rest..
6 days of fun and laughter.. 6 days of running.. 6 days of bonding.. 6 days of tiredness..
1 day to start of school.. how boring can it get!!
*haha*
*chaoz*
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