Saturday, April 01, 2006
Title: Memories
Life is full of memories, be it sad or happy sure enough you will have it.. This blog shall not be my update but it will be something different something philosophical something i have not written or about it for quite some time.. Have you wondered one day you are wiped off of your memories ie. lose youe memory completely, and you can have 1 memory to keep with you what will it be?? nobody would ever thought of that but it might happen just come one day. As for me, i did thought of that and my choice was obvious, definitely not the times spent during my 2 years and 2 months in army and definitely not my 13 years of education so far but something else..
As much as i want this memory to leave me completely so that i will not be feeling so terrible time and time again but ironically i want it to be with me forever... human beings are a different species as compared to animals because this is 1 characteristic that mammals will not have, regrets and memories.. that explains why we are so different from our predecessors or before we evolved.. something like the documentary show, 'homosapiens'. For every task that we complete, we feel proud because we have just completed an assignment but if we failed to meet the deadline or we finish off with poor quality, we have regrets on what could be if we pushed hard enough or we have a better planning in the first place.. i'm not saying that this is bad, this where we learn from it and not make the same mistakes time and time again.. nobody is perfect but we want to be as close to perfection as possible.. this is not easy and many have tried and failed.. but we should applaude their courage to try for it..
The memory that i want it to be with me is obvious.. everybody knows it i guess.. for those who are close to me actually.. there's nothing compared to what i have went through for that.. i can talk non-stop for the whole day just talking about that incident or that memory.. it has left a deep impression in my mind and i will never forget it.. even if 1 day i would lose my memory, i might have some recollections of it actually.. its about 1 month plus to 2 years since that happened, and i cant forget it completely.. maybe its my surroundings maybe i have forgotten but i stopped and look back thinking about it again.. but i have no answer to it.. recently, i was going through my documents in 'My Computer', i came across this particular powerpoint slide that meant a lot to me.. i have the hard copy actually in case my computer crashes and everything's gone.. i will not accept that because in my entire life, i will not be getting that again.. never again in this life.. so i must have a hard copy of it.. actually i wonder whether these 2 years, have i actually moved on but nothing at all or i have done so but its just a showcase to everyone especially to my dearest friends.. i do not have a clue about it..
Nobody has the answer.. only i will have it or i should look for it.. maybe come 1 day the answer will come naturally.. many of you will be sick and tired of hearing this but its true, your dearest Roger hasn't gotten over it actually.. this memory will stay with me till the day i lie flat with straight hands and legs.. deep down in my heart, i still hoping that this memory will become a reality and everything's back to normal again.. but i know this will never happen its the same probability as seeing a pig flying.. Human beings have feelings, emotions, regrets, memories and ironies.. but that's just life.. without a bit of this and that.. you will never enjoy being a human because that's what makes us so different from any other species found living on this Planet Earth..
a memory is a collection of incidents..
a memory is a replay of what had happened..
a memory is something that all humans will have..
a memory appears subconciously without notice at all..
a memory is what we have as a guide to our future path ahead..
a memory is all I have to look back..
a memory is what hurts me the most..
memories.. love it or hate it.. i have the most painful memories..
end..
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